i found this piece that i had written a long time ago....after a breakup, and the anger, confusion and just that feeling of...'how did i become such a blithering idiot'! Anywho..I re-read it today and thought to myself...wow...glad that that's over. There was no fairy tale end....but what i learned....has nourished and fortified my soul and for that ...i thank God.
Other than that...all is fine and dandy here in Kenya...the weather continues to be scrumptious...the job hunt is still slow, but Im loving the networking opportunities that present themselves EVERY DAY!
Something about the thoughts running through my mind, is making me think....
Double concentration
twofold thought
thoughts of what to think
thoughts of thinking
thinking of the unseen me...
what do they call it again??
soul?
spirit?
yeah well...you know what i mean
Thinkings...
of purpose, destiny , present
of love hate, bliss
of life, of death, of existence
of truth
of truth
of truth
you know the truth shall set you free...AMEN indeed it will
but then there is this thing called Human nature..
and with that...its not so simple anymore...
Screaming...
inside...
my insides are screaming and shuddering at the shame of the truth that they so want to hide...at the truth that hurts...at the truth that scorns. Even though that same truth probably plagues and tortures all those who scorn and frown and laugh and point.
and right now the truth is that im just learning the truth.
the truth about who i am and the truth about what i was meant to be.
the truth about the lies that the world has fed me and that i have snacked on religiously at midnight and mid-day and even with my morning coffee.
but it still amazes me just how clear the truth is in the dark of night...when you’re all alone, and the smiles have all gone home, the jokes are over, the bed is cold and all u have is his smell on your pillow and the t-shirt that he left behind.
somehow that’s when it all dawns on you...
but seeing as I’m all alone and there’s no-one to talk to... a yahoo note is all its gonna be
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